Local Paper Airplane Virtuoso Soars to Command as New Wing Leader

Lt. Col. Brendan Kearns, illustriously known as the self-proclaimed maestro of aeronautical exploits, has ascended to the lofty throne of wing commander for the Civil Air Patrol’s North Carolina Wing. This meteoric rise in rank follows years of diligent service, during which he mastered the delicate art of gluing model airplanes, effectively winning air battles against gravity in his backyard. His appointment is regarded as a strategic move, given his unparalleled expertise in the complex logistics of paper airplane warfare and his trailblazing role in organizing sky-high charades. Truly, a new era of aviation leadership (and aeronautical entertainment) has dawned upon us!