Financial Sorcerer to Single-handedly Revolutionize the Nonprofit Universe, Cat Remains Unimpressed

Veteran Volunteer and Finance Wizard to Lead Statewide Nonprofit, Fix Everything

In a move that surprised absolutely no one except maybe his cat, veteran volunteer and finance executive Michael Woolfolk has been anointed as the new almighty leader of a statewide nonprofit. In between counting beans and performing financial wizardry—which we all love to pretend to understand—Woolfolk will now also be the savior of emergency services, youth programs, and possibly even aerospace education.

Rumor has it that with a mere wave of his balance sheet, emergency services will run smoother than a well-oiled machine, youth programs will transform every child into a prodigy, and aerospace education will reach for the stars—literally. Of course, this herculean task falls squarely on the shoulders of our finance-savvy hero, because why have a team when a single person can clearly do it all?